Pluto and the tears of transformation

I was thinking about Pluto for some time and what he means to me. (Yes I see the planets and stars as souls of beings) This is something I found regarding my birth chart:

"Those born in the generation having Pluto in Libra experience the call to participate in world transformation by introducing new forms of co-operation between nations. They are also given the challenge of transforming traditional ideas of partnership relationships on planet Earth.

On a personal level, those born with Pluto in Libra experience their greatest fears in risking disharmony through disclosure of what they feel to be unjust. Their challenge is to be willing to discard personal illusions of balance and objectively express their power in relationships in order that a new and greater harmony can be established."

I learned a few years ago that it is better to bring out the opinions I have about injustices, no matter what people think. If you don't, people will run you over.

Some more of Pluto lead me to a rune I have been working with, the one of the Yew tree and defense: Eihwaz.
I have this rune, and it is often found in smoky quartz to symbolize the merging of darkness and light but mine is in clear quartz. This was a rune I found in a shop, without knowing the meaning at the time but I felt the stone wanting me to have it. (The one in the pic is not my rune)

http://www.angelfire.com/wy/runemagick/runeihwaz.html

The other day I got the six of pentacles as the crown which reflects an aspect of who I am right now. It's connected to the High priestess and the Hierophant, the moon and the bull. In this card the paths of the male and female mysteries coincide, it's a complete symbiosis between the intuition and power of creation - soul and matter. The High Priestess symbolizes the feminine principle of initiation, and is so the source of the receptive and rythmic changing realm of emotions. She is that in us which translates every thought, event and action into an emotional experience. She is sensible and etheric. The hierophant represents the male path of initiation, and manifests that which in other cases is invisible. As the priestess he receives spiritual messages but brings them out in carnal rituals. This card shows a harmony between earth (material possessions, etc) and water (emotional patterns of reactions). Here is the word of "success" , which isn't only success in material ways but of course also the inner spheres. The soul has created a concrete form or circumstance to incarnate in. A stable wealth from inside out.

I have been asked to move beyond the high priestess, towards something more androgyne than what only she can provide or be manifested as and I understand what this means. A daughter can carry the essence of her father and the perfect spiritual son can carry the essence of the divine feminine inherited from his mother as well. This card though kind of speaks against what I quoted earlier about balance, and that it is just an illusion when one should take a stand. Although it's not quite about the same thing. Sometimes I willingly bring myself out of balance to for example show more clearly that something is unfair. When in balance you don't act on things as much. An being that is complete when it comes to the soul, still has to lean more to one side now and then to counteract other things.

This is good to see, as I have been very emotional lately and also have started to dream about water again. A lot of tears have cleansed my soul as they often do. The other thing is that I also now have a job opportunity, that will assist me in getting closer to what I desire in life. It is much about sharing time with those I love and being around animals, not the actual money.

My heart in the reading, described as a guardian angel was actually the tower which makes me think about a certain one I have recently been in contact with, an spirit of judgment day, death and destruction. However he teaches me so very much and I see him as my twin and a mirror. It is often his dark side that visits me, we balance eachother well in whichever form we choose for the moment. Or not... ;) This being has caused me so many tears but many things that have been buried too deep have emerged from it.

And I got death as my "safety net", which actually made me happy. It is about change and similar to the tower card. I have always had a positive and close relationship to the mortal death, and different other things related. I often find myself speaking to the dead. This was the second time this card showed up in a short period of time, so it means that it is something important. Ace of coins was the outcome for this time, which was good news.

The Emperor and the King of cups have shown as a stable ground and a shoulder to lean on when being as the princess of cups, cards that have also returned. The more grounded and stable ones "come to the rescue" whenever I see something that would make me spaced out. I feel very blessed and thank my spiritual family for always being there. Some of you I never or seldom speak to but I know that you are around. My deepest thanks and love.

I would like to explain everything I've been through, put it in words or images but often I find that music and sound is one of the most thankful expressions. So I wish I could create music, but in ways I see that others are already using the source I am in touch with in so much better ways than I ever could. I work with my emotions and experiences through songs, recognizing patterns I've seen.

I found an interesting picture with an explanation for it the other day:

"The goddess of the earth, the mother of us all, stands on her planet which is cradled by the three-headed dragon of universal energy. She bestows upon Pan, god of wild nature, the mysterious secret of music which is symbolized in the reeds behind him and from which he fashions the pan flute, its haunting sound echoing throughout the untamed world. Also master of the untamed world and musical messenger for Gaia is Jimi Hendrix, shown here in exaltation. Behind him, standing guard to his queen is the Green Man - ancient European deity of the virgin forest. His menacing eye warns humanity of the terrible consequences which will befall our world if we don't honor him and the vegetation of the planet. Attending Gaia is the Cretan Snake Goddess - goddess of the life force - the Zoe of Ancient Greece, the Tao of the Chinese, the Yoga Kundalini (serpent power of India). She holds and hypnotizes the left and right powers of energy - right brain/left brain, feminine/masculine, night/day - maintaining the equilibrium needed for growth. Staggering onto the scene is the first and last god, Dionysus, god of intoxication, chaos, ecstacy but also of freedom and spontaneity."

I got into the Haitian vodou after seeing the movie Serpent and the rainbow, that my love recommended. I'm so thankful for his movie suggestions, it gives me great joy to discover more of good films. Started looking into it and found Elizi danto which reminds me of Danu and Frigg in the hindu and keltic systems.

Some about Oshun or "Our Lady of charity" in the religion of Orisha and Cuban catholics which make a connection to virgin Mary:

"When she possesses her followers she dances, flirts and then weeps- because no one can love her enough and the world is not as beautiful as she knows it could be."

Finally it led me back to Sophia and the Demiurge of gnosticism, a place that I have explored a few times before so to speak. I do like this piece:

She [Sophia] will cast them down into the abyss. They [the Archons] will be obliterated because of their wickedness. For they will come to be like volcanoes and consume one another until they perish at the hand of the prime parent. When he has destroyed them, he will turn against himself and destroy himself until he ceases to exist. And their heavens will fall one upon the next and their forces will be consumed by fire. Their eternal realms, too, will be overturned. And his heaven will fall and break in two. His [...] will fall down upon the [...] support them; they will fall into the abyss, and the abyss will be overturned. The light will [...] the darkness and obliterate it: it will be like something that never was.

This is quite a dramatic way to describe an event, nothing ceases to exist not even in the abyss. Especially not there. The former rulers will go back to where they came from and I know some if not most are looking forward to it. To disappear from the world, in transformation rather than destruction. People like that word, it's dramatic to use and serves it's purpose. I see this present as the dark time of the "destructive" Asuras/Æsir, titans, antigods that will destroy the rigid and old concepts of god and religion we have today. Their purpose is understood through the very word of antigod, another could be antichrist(s) and all what these forces do is actually serving truth by getting rid of restricting belief systems. What if the gods were not gods then, but just spirits like any human is. That is and always has been closer to the truth. So they will not be known as gods anymore. It will lead to balance between forces and energies depending on the choice of the individual. And that is all there is to it, neither is wrong or right but simply preference. There you make your own new world as you are, here and now. There is then no promise of either heaven or hell, a formerly created realm but you will have to make your own.

I do not lean on what I think I have or what I am, by accepting there might be nothing there is nothing to lose. I wouldn't be upset if there was nothing more than this life or even less. But I want to exist and therefore I am. The immortal ones can be invisible to the eye of mortal man and they have been before.

We suffered catastrophic events in the past and here we are, united. Even that which has been split into atoms can reassemble itself if it knows it's original setup so to speak. It's about a kind of memory in the spirit itself, that is the closest way I can describe it. Almost like an instinct to find similar or completing parts. In a dream you can not die so if death is like a dream that just continues, there is one of the keys. Being in the abyss is like dreamless sleep. It's rest, you are not gone or forget who you are. Just like when you are in anesthesia. Once when I woke up from it my body was shocked and shaking, it is a very comfortable timelessness to rest in the darkness. Sometimes I feel like it's not natural for me to breathe air and I have to remind myself to do it.

I won't lie, I see a lot of death and a kind natural selection on a greater scale. But death is not the end. This time of trial is preceding that of wisdom and responsibility, the kind of wisdom in humans that has no external force to put their trust into. No war in between dualities within.
Not without faith, but without boundaries and limits of what can be created and thought of. The receiving of the purple/black flame from those that they in their childhood saw as parents. It is something to be earned, and not taken for granted. No one has said it isn't painful or difficult to make this change, however it has to be done if humanity are to evolve and survive.