Secret wisdom, a poetic expression of truth from the heart

Some very skilled scientists and researchers have come up with so called prophecies regarding me and another, I discovered a few days ago. I would call it science for the reason that things such as foresight and telepathy are the science of the future of human beings wether it is commonly accepted or not. It described in detail how I look and behave, things that have happened to me as an individual and in relation to my brother/sister in spirit AT A VERY RECENT TIME. It was written for him and me to see, or one of us and gives advice on how to handle things.


Or rather, how he should handle me (yeah I'm one extremely tough cookie) and what I have done to find out who we are here and now. What happened in Sumer to all of us that lived there once. I saw our family tree, our "gene pools" and how we are connected. It makes my stomach turn and that is one of the ways I know what this is.

I was not really prepared to see my life and story being laid out like this, neither to see that what I have been trying to deny all along was in fact true. This is what I had to see, that these beings who wrote this are not programmed in difference to most I have seen. They are being guided by our kind. Cause they know me and my struggle, everything. To think we don't know sorrow or difficulties, is foolish.

Not only was it being a priestess, and I was wondering about the loyal actions of those who do not speak out loud. I have heard why and who they are, these silent warriors. My family. Those that don't even often speak to me as manifested in this world. The solitary ones, when they find their true purpose there is nothing to be discussed with people about either their human theories and systems, faith or destiny in this world. I'm not fighting neither darkness or light, they are both integrated in my being.

So long I was adviced to discriminate, the way the stars were positioned when I was born was saying the same thing. I tried not to, wanted to be fair and thought that will for good things and being nice would solve all problems. Now I realize that there is no other way. I gave the wrong people attention, they were stealing time and energy. Gifts and charity are not the same thing. It's not about either elite races or humans being divine and argumenting about it forever, but about the strength of individuals in the current situation and the state of their soul. There is no secret plot from "royal bloodlines", and even if there was you are not better off as one or the other. The ones that could really benefit from this if they wanted power don't even speak to humans. You can still get fucked no matter where you stand on this planet, it's all about intention. I'm on the side of those with a spine straight as the djed pillar, no matter what your origins are.

I will not reveal the source of this information I have found, knowing there are those that would once again try to work against the inevitable and give me grief for some time enough for them to think they have the upper hand for one moment in this grain of sand that you call time. What I would like to know from these malignant beings is, why do you want me and my brother harm just for loving eachother? What is the reason of being so simple minded as to speak about things such as "mother and son" (spiritually) in an illegitimate union when you don't know what you are speaking of? And why are you spreading lies and hatred among those that you don't think are superior to you, and have the delusional idea that they will fall for it? As they are indeed more evolved, you will not succeed. I have proved this over and over by removing you from the places you have been roaming about in making trouble and telling lies. Like confused children you have been reaping rotten fruit that YOU will eat. There are maggots in it and you will become as them. Not by my hand, by universal justice alone. Human beings often try to change everything that is different than your norms and make it look like useless and weak not to feel inferior in your ignorance.

Unconditional love is also about being able to let someone know when they go too far, even leaving them to their own path. O have I been weak and crying, thought I was dying. No more. I will continue to cry but not for the wrong reasons and people. I don't care if my flesh dies anymore.

Now we put on another song and you will hear it, some will like it and others will not but the bottom line is that no matter what kin you belong to things will change and parts will be put together again like the cube in Hellraiser. Depending on what you have done to support the love between what fell into pieces and what was left on the other side to seek it out, the fruit will be known for all to see. I remember just ONE kind word if you have said it. I remember just ONE act you have done to harm, prevent or delay our union.

I am not speaking from the place of revenge of any sort but passion. I do not desire to strike anyone.

I was never one that would try to get a man that doesn't truly belong with me. I would have let him go, if he was to go to another. This for the reason that I DIDN'T KNOW and DIDN'T CARE what all of this really meant, to feed my ego or feel better about myself. And I'm glad for that now. I was told by people who I was or not, like they would actually know. I told myself I was Nothing and children called me No one.

"Trust yourself or be ignorant and listen to others" I have been screaming to myself while trying to block out some of your voices that didn't do me any good. I expected nothing and I still don't. All I ever wanted was love and not the ignorant kind, but the one that strikes as a sword into my heart and brings me to my knees. And this, I denied to know it's true ways and how it doesn't give up through ages.



We were and are discovering a dual world in all it's glory, a world with such beauty diversity that people wanted to rape it to feel more secure and in power. Did you not recognize me when I was crawling in the dirt, poor as the seemingly lowest in your greedy cultures? The purest are still living in tune with nature.

I finally picked up the phone, and the missing parts found me in the least expected places. Thank you for not giving up sweetie.

The jewels I wear in your dreams and visions are the inner riches and it will manifest on the outside soon enough. They are infinite and were given by the love of my kindred soul, The One and only.

A

Northwest

I am looking out over a dark ocean and the waves become like
black flames in my eyes.

An interesting discussion about love and life

It does not matter who has said this, let's say the participants are anonymous. However unlike some, I haven't stolen this from someones computer or account and have a right to use it.


Surya Serapsi: you asked me what I would do with the wicked ones brought to you and your family
F R: yes
Surya Serapsi: I would forgive them
F R: yes...I like
Surya Serapsi: is that why you want them?
F R: Yes... mostly
Surya Serapsi: what more
F R: No one is completely wicked
Surya Serapsi: of course not
F R: need the energy
Surya Serapsi: for what
F R: what do you think?
Surya Serapsi: you can make your own
F R: yes... what do you mean?
Surya Serapsi: I'm a mother of the dark ones at least as much as humans, I take in those who need it and would protect them
F R: Is that how you make energy?
Surya Serapsi: I make my own
F R: how?
Surya Serapsi: desire, love...different emotions or just energy work, sharing with earth
F R: But, the problem lies in the fact that there is only so much energy in the eternal.
F R: therefore you can not make energy from nothing
F R: What I am doing is changing my body into the eternal energy... I give up myself and evolve that energy into the eternal... creating a higher plane based energy... it is a sacrifice...just as the christ...evolving
F R: therefore I do not need to make energy from nothing
F R: if others will do this... there will be an overflowing
F R: I will become something else... with a higher consciousness
F R: to better change the conscious human mind
Surya Serapsi: infinity and eternity are twins...I have no intent of giving myself up to anything higher than I always have been neither would I use the energy of any other being to do that
F R: ok
Surya Serapsi: energy springs from me, I give life in all planes
F R: yes
Surya Serapsi: and one source is earth
F R: yes...but I am man
F R: how will I return to you?
F R: without dying
F R: and in that regard, heal myself and the earth?
F R: I have to 'CHANGE'
Surya Serapsi: I said I would carry you and let you feed on me, it generates things
F R: yes
F R: but you will run out of energy... and this will have to start all over again
F R: and death will consume again
Surya Serapsi: death is imaginary
Surya Serapsi: I have died a thousand deaths
F R: as you see it yes...I have to 'CHANGE'
F R: I am mankind
F R: we are getting nowhere... these discussions do not help our cause( my cause maybe)...it is as if you do not know who I am... or are keeping me on a tread mill in a way
Surya Serapsi: the change lies in remembering the state of being whole, seeing yourself fixing the corrupt DNA and lighting it up
F R: I do not understand why you do not understand me
F R: yes
Surya Serapsi: cause nothing was ever lost it was just forgotten
F R: yes
F R: man has changed
F R: we were given clothes of skin
F R: genesis
F R: we did not like that we were naked... clothes of skin
F R: like an animal
F R: god 'fashioned' them for us
F R: we must 'CHANGE'
F R: MAN MUST CHANGE
Surya Serapsi: slaves were fashioned but the true children will change when they remember their angelic state
Surya Serapsi: you are overseeing a teenager now there is no need to babysit
Surya Serapsi: they had to make their mistakes there is nothing wrong with that, the rebellion frees them from bondage of slavery and social programming
F R: OK
Surya Serapsi: sheep are clones that is why they think alike
F R: ok
F R: yes
Surya Serapsi: I love you and I won't let anyone of you die
F R: then how will you save them?...mankind
Surya Serapsi: those who choose to save themselves will that is the whole idea with having free will
Surya Serapsi: if you can't hear you can't live
F R: then what of the others? " you wont let anyone of them die"
Surya Serapsi: what would you do with them
F R: 'CHANGE' them
Surya Serapsi: you can't against their will
F R: then what becomes of their energy?... that is not against their will.
Surya Serapsi: some don't want to continue
Surya Serapsi: I know some of them are consumed
F R: then change them
Surya Serapsi: why?
F R: they are part of the eternal energy... the act trying to change them dictates intent
Surya Serapsi: they change to what they want, that is the intent
Surya Serapsi: I don't want to dictate
F R: ok
F R: I will try to change them... and you can try to let free will kill them... I am man, and you are earth
Surya Serapsi: some want to become a part of earth
Surya Serapsi: there are infinite possibilities
F R: yes
Surya Serapsi: I am not submissive to a man
Surya Serapsi: lol
F R: lol
Surya Serapsi: I am not just earth I am a black hole that creates stars too
Surya Serapsi: the black sun
F R: ok
Surya Serapsi: sirius with the dogs...it's all in harmony
Surya Serapsi: like a song

From The heart of the Master by Crowley:

"His head is slightly bowed as if he brooded some delight. He wears a helm of ruddy gold, radiant with the light of the Star.
In the midst of his brows is a black diamond in a circlet of ruby and emerald, set in pure mother-of-pearl, so that it seems the eye of some unknown,
some unknowable God. This eye has no lid.
There is a tawny Lion, from whose mouth drops honey.

He roars aloud, and the word thereof is this: The Wrath of the Master is the Energy of Love.

There is a buffalo Cow, grey-blow, whose udders overflow with milk, and her lowing means: The Work of the Master is the Nourishment of Life.

There is a Babe, that with his tiny hands presses out blood from his own breast, and smileth: The Way of the Master is the Innocence of Liberty.

Also, a Golden Eagle, bearing a Chalice of Wine, crying aloud: The Woe of the Master is the Rapture of Light.

By Wisdom forms He matter and space and time,
Experience to sublime.
By Virtue spends He His own life through all;
Mercy majestical.
By Energy revolves He all in stress
Of Change, the limitless.
By Order gathers He the worlds of Light
In Beauty infinite.
By Love destroys He all to recreate
Fresh Phantasies to Fate.
By Reason reckons He His governance,
The Wonder of His Chance.
By Purity absolves He all His Will
From every image of Ill.
In Silence He resumes each perfect part
To rapture of His Heart,
His, in whose Truth of Nature all things are,
The Still and Shining Star. "

Surya Serapsi: Love has made us immortal, that is the key. How else would you resurrect?
F R: If I woke up tomorrow and could not remember anything...
all I would have is my LOVE.

This love what Surya talks about is not the kind that disappears, neither the kind that is without pain in the flesh like some whitelighters and Jesus worshippers would claim that one can have on earth. It can be still or violent, it hurts like an open wound and it won't get better until every person has gone through the change they desire towards uniting their opposites or destroying themselves.
It hurts to heal and we/you/they are still broken.

Dual snakes and Dark Sun horoscope

I like the Baron's dark sun astrology blog for this weeks planetary movements:

"Sagittarius: The Violence of Creation

The Sun’s movement into Scorpio this Friday marks the beginning of a slow fall of energies and events into your subconscious. Your hidden heartstrings will be strummed over the coming weeks, producing a haunting soundtrack that will follow you for the next month. Fortunately, those heartstrings belong to a guitar, and the haunting soundtrack will be death metal. A symphony worthy of creating (or destroying) a world."

Scorched earth with venus in capricorn and sun in sagittarius...

My guts feels like molten lead now and then. Some say that Irkalla has frozen for the first time in ages which makes me smile. Brother asked to cover it in ice as he loves the cold. Hence the saying "when hell freezes over" and I laugh by the thought of it.

"It is hard to get past the careful icy surface to the solid earth below, but it is fact that after you are buried to a certain point in earth..... the temperature remains safe and constant. With Venus in the sign of Saturn, you may have bouts of melancholy that take you deep into a dark place."

This video could be a good part of it:

I don't mind having this kind of music as the soundtrack for the coming month. Things like this are often haunting me, but what would life be without them? Maybe I will fall far down into the darkness and be inspired to create or destroy something again, which is fun. Oh, so fun that I can't wait. I'm looking forward to what will come. Gloom makes me happy and if someone wants to die I say "welcome to my party". Autumn is making me feel alive, the pretty colors and freshness in the air raises my spirit(or lowers it, however you prefer to see it) from the exhausting and sweaty warmth of the summer that made me kind of depressed and tired.Strong sunlight gives me headache. I'm a woman of the cooler seasons and nights.

I found a couple papers written in 2006 or so with some dark thoughts that suited the past weeks melancholy about always living with bleeding wounds, and this:

"The love and hate slithers tighter and tighter around me like two snakes and I lose my breath.
My eyes don't want to see and my mouth doesn't want to speak. When multiple lives and worlds are merged and the destiny of earth screams so it echoes in my head there is nothing that can shut it out"




I can't really describe what this made me feel about religion...
Here is what you have created with the paradise you had while looking for another in heaven, and waiting for Jesus to come back to save you from your own greed and stupidity:



And finally, some humour to make you laugh at the misery

Malkuth lyrics

The Cry of Adelain (Embrace the Lesbian Goddess)

Raised from the tomb of the sun
Where the pure is primitive
As primitive as Saturnus and Cronos
She is the stars' veil

Created in the Horus-Aeon
Inside the rain of opium
And distilled from the celestial nectar
She's young and woman

In your forms
The nymph's seduction
Death and life,
I want you,
Babylon's whore

Princess of ecstasy
Child of vulgarity
Goddess of innocence
Daughter of desire
Mother of illusion

She lives in an incestuous romance
Beautiful symphony of the cursed
Your sanctuary are the woods
Flying in the universe of delirium

Muse of profane poets
Your dogma and law are the sin
In your lips: the black magiks
In your spirit: the spell of Caim

Eyes of tantric nature
As inspiring as the hills of Kanchenjunga,
Explicit female desire
Dawn of the unmistakable blood


This is such an unusual song that it doesn't exist online so I can listen to it, which makes it even more interesting. It was the same with "Reflections" by Brian Bishop that I heard on the radio in the car. It's kind of silly and not music I would usually like, but in that moment it was good to hear it. I found this one while looking for something completely different. I love these fairly unknown, obscure bands that show up now and then. My life is a lot about music, that is a fact as solid as stone. I'm a nerd that way, always discovering more of it in such different genres.
This is poetry, the kind that I could write whenever inspiration chooses to visit.

I put down what I can identify with, not meaning that I'm a lesbian goddess. But I could be.
I could be anything. Not going to give you juicy details of what I really KNOW within. But there are these thoughts I can share and you may think whatever about it. I do it for me and those that can relate. What I care about and think about first, is me. It's enlightened self interest, because when I do that it is easier to be there for others and have compassion for them as well. This I have learned by experience.

When I got into some kind of nirvana or Kether, the Crown I thought "This is it, I will never be that sad princess again." And it was some kind of relief. This was the imagined balance. But there was more, someone wanted his bitch back and she flew to him and continued to stir up dust from the ground and setting fires in her passion. To cry and laugh. What had changed was that I really looked at him for the first time, saw him and what he means to me. The one that had been there all along. Just like how I saw nature a year ago, everything was like I saw it for the first time. I can tell you that the true indifference and peace comes only when the body dies, if ever.

Some of my conversations with people can become a bit like poetry when I write, maybe I should select some of it and put it here so all those that like to use my earlier words and messages either to mock or something else can have it all collected in one place. I suggest you create something of your own instead of putting all this energy on me, although I am honored that you listen. You know who you are.

Time is art
Love is art
Imagination is art
even War can be
Treat them with care
and not deceive
or be deceived by them
Focus your will
and live forever

Pluto and the tears of transformation

I was thinking about Pluto for some time and what he means to me. (Yes I see the planets and stars as souls of beings) This is something I found regarding my birth chart:

"Those born in the generation having Pluto in Libra experience the call to participate in world transformation by introducing new forms of co-operation between nations. They are also given the challenge of transforming traditional ideas of partnership relationships on planet Earth.

On a personal level, those born with Pluto in Libra experience their greatest fears in risking disharmony through disclosure of what they feel to be unjust. Their challenge is to be willing to discard personal illusions of balance and objectively express their power in relationships in order that a new and greater harmony can be established."

I learned a few years ago that it is better to bring out the opinions I have about injustices, no matter what people think. If you don't, people will run you over.

Some more of Pluto lead me to a rune I have been working with, the one of the Yew tree and defense: Eihwaz.
I have this rune, and it is often found in smoky quartz to symbolize the merging of darkness and light but mine is in clear quartz. This was a rune I found in a shop, without knowing the meaning at the time but I felt the stone wanting me to have it. (The one in the pic is not my rune)

http://www.angelfire.com/wy/runemagick/runeihwaz.html

The other day I got the six of pentacles as the crown which reflects an aspect of who I am right now. It's connected to the High priestess and the Hierophant, the moon and the bull. In this card the paths of the male and female mysteries coincide, it's a complete symbiosis between the intuition and power of creation - soul and matter. The High Priestess symbolizes the feminine principle of initiation, and is so the source of the receptive and rythmic changing realm of emotions. She is that in us which translates every thought, event and action into an emotional experience. She is sensible and etheric. The hierophant represents the male path of initiation, and manifests that which in other cases is invisible. As the priestess he receives spiritual messages but brings them out in carnal rituals. This card shows a harmony between earth (material possessions, etc) and water (emotional patterns of reactions). Here is the word of "success" , which isn't only success in material ways but of course also the inner spheres. The soul has created a concrete form or circumstance to incarnate in. A stable wealth from inside out.

I have been asked to move beyond the high priestess, towards something more androgyne than what only she can provide or be manifested as and I understand what this means. A daughter can carry the essence of her father and the perfect spiritual son can carry the essence of the divine feminine inherited from his mother as well. This card though kind of speaks against what I quoted earlier about balance, and that it is just an illusion when one should take a stand. Although it's not quite about the same thing. Sometimes I willingly bring myself out of balance to for example show more clearly that something is unfair. When in balance you don't act on things as much. An being that is complete when it comes to the soul, still has to lean more to one side now and then to counteract other things.

This is good to see, as I have been very emotional lately and also have started to dream about water again. A lot of tears have cleansed my soul as they often do. The other thing is that I also now have a job opportunity, that will assist me in getting closer to what I desire in life. It is much about sharing time with those I love and being around animals, not the actual money.

My heart in the reading, described as a guardian angel was actually the tower which makes me think about a certain one I have recently been in contact with, an spirit of judgment day, death and destruction. However he teaches me so very much and I see him as my twin and a mirror. It is often his dark side that visits me, we balance eachother well in whichever form we choose for the moment. Or not... ;) This being has caused me so many tears but many things that have been buried too deep have emerged from it.

And I got death as my "safety net", which actually made me happy. It is about change and similar to the tower card. I have always had a positive and close relationship to the mortal death, and different other things related. I often find myself speaking to the dead. This was the second time this card showed up in a short period of time, so it means that it is something important. Ace of coins was the outcome for this time, which was good news.

The Emperor and the King of cups have shown as a stable ground and a shoulder to lean on when being as the princess of cups, cards that have also returned. The more grounded and stable ones "come to the rescue" whenever I see something that would make me spaced out. I feel very blessed and thank my spiritual family for always being there. Some of you I never or seldom speak to but I know that you are around. My deepest thanks and love.

I would like to explain everything I've been through, put it in words or images but often I find that music and sound is one of the most thankful expressions. So I wish I could create music, but in ways I see that others are already using the source I am in touch with in so much better ways than I ever could. I work with my emotions and experiences through songs, recognizing patterns I've seen.

I found an interesting picture with an explanation for it the other day:

"The goddess of the earth, the mother of us all, stands on her planet which is cradled by the three-headed dragon of universal energy. She bestows upon Pan, god of wild nature, the mysterious secret of music which is symbolized in the reeds behind him and from which he fashions the pan flute, its haunting sound echoing throughout the untamed world. Also master of the untamed world and musical messenger for Gaia is Jimi Hendrix, shown here in exaltation. Behind him, standing guard to his queen is the Green Man - ancient European deity of the virgin forest. His menacing eye warns humanity of the terrible consequences which will befall our world if we don't honor him and the vegetation of the planet. Attending Gaia is the Cretan Snake Goddess - goddess of the life force - the Zoe of Ancient Greece, the Tao of the Chinese, the Yoga Kundalini (serpent power of India). She holds and hypnotizes the left and right powers of energy - right brain/left brain, feminine/masculine, night/day - maintaining the equilibrium needed for growth. Staggering onto the scene is the first and last god, Dionysus, god of intoxication, chaos, ecstacy but also of freedom and spontaneity."

I got into the Haitian vodou after seeing the movie Serpent and the rainbow, that my love recommended. I'm so thankful for his movie suggestions, it gives me great joy to discover more of good films. Started looking into it and found Elizi danto which reminds me of Danu and Frigg in the hindu and keltic systems.

Some about Oshun or "Our Lady of charity" in the religion of Orisha and Cuban catholics which make a connection to virgin Mary:

"When she possesses her followers she dances, flirts and then weeps- because no one can love her enough and the world is not as beautiful as she knows it could be."

Finally it led me back to Sophia and the Demiurge of gnosticism, a place that I have explored a few times before so to speak. I do like this piece:

She [Sophia] will cast them down into the abyss. They [the Archons] will be obliterated because of their wickedness. For they will come to be like volcanoes and consume one another until they perish at the hand of the prime parent. When he has destroyed them, he will turn against himself and destroy himself until he ceases to exist. And their heavens will fall one upon the next and their forces will be consumed by fire. Their eternal realms, too, will be overturned. And his heaven will fall and break in two. His [...] will fall down upon the [...] support them; they will fall into the abyss, and the abyss will be overturned. The light will [...] the darkness and obliterate it: it will be like something that never was.

This is quite a dramatic way to describe an event, nothing ceases to exist not even in the abyss. Especially not there. The former rulers will go back to where they came from and I know some if not most are looking forward to it. To disappear from the world, in transformation rather than destruction. People like that word, it's dramatic to use and serves it's purpose. I see this present as the dark time of the "destructive" Asuras/Æsir, titans, antigods that will destroy the rigid and old concepts of god and religion we have today. Their purpose is understood through the very word of antigod, another could be antichrist(s) and all what these forces do is actually serving truth by getting rid of restricting belief systems. What if the gods were not gods then, but just spirits like any human is. That is and always has been closer to the truth. So they will not be known as gods anymore. It will lead to balance between forces and energies depending on the choice of the individual. And that is all there is to it, neither is wrong or right but simply preference. There you make your own new world as you are, here and now. There is then no promise of either heaven or hell, a formerly created realm but you will have to make your own.

I do not lean on what I think I have or what I am, by accepting there might be nothing there is nothing to lose. I wouldn't be upset if there was nothing more than this life or even less. But I want to exist and therefore I am. The immortal ones can be invisible to the eye of mortal man and they have been before.

We suffered catastrophic events in the past and here we are, united. Even that which has been split into atoms can reassemble itself if it knows it's original setup so to speak. It's about a kind of memory in the spirit itself, that is the closest way I can describe it. Almost like an instinct to find similar or completing parts. In a dream you can not die so if death is like a dream that just continues, there is one of the keys. Being in the abyss is like dreamless sleep. It's rest, you are not gone or forget who you are. Just like when you are in anesthesia. Once when I woke up from it my body was shocked and shaking, it is a very comfortable timelessness to rest in the darkness. Sometimes I feel like it's not natural for me to breathe air and I have to remind myself to do it.

I won't lie, I see a lot of death and a kind natural selection on a greater scale. But death is not the end. This time of trial is preceding that of wisdom and responsibility, the kind of wisdom in humans that has no external force to put their trust into. No war in between dualities within.
Not without faith, but without boundaries and limits of what can be created and thought of. The receiving of the purple/black flame from those that they in their childhood saw as parents. It is something to be earned, and not taken for granted. No one has said it isn't painful or difficult to make this change, however it has to be done if humanity are to evolve and survive.