Favorite daughter, wife or sister. And I remembered one reason why we could not be partners in love. One male side of me that has no distinction, no sense of individuality in humans, no selection. But it needs to be there for everyone to find their match, someone they can be truly happy with.
If there wasn't selection I would never have been found by the love of my life, or considered him to be the One. It was unlikely, surprising and blew my mind more than anything.
That is why I think he (my male part) might end up alone, continuing to search for me in the many women or none. Girlfriend after girlfriend, or just speaking to someone that will hear him, the snake within them starting to have my voice when he looks at them. And they are flattered of course, they think they are chosen and see a bright angel. Become as hypnotized by his glow. Mostly he is just a man that forgot how it is to be a child.
The sun/son doesn't understand the darkness of the female, after the paternal empire began to rise. He forgot about me and that I am not every woman on this planet, that I have a face and a voice of my own. But the purpose of this great king has been to spread his spiritual DNA since he thinks it is superior to anything else. Light particles. There is no real form there, he takes the face of many people I have known.
I know better, what is so for me I can add having venus in capricorn. There is nothing wrong to be in a cluster fuck, a great group of snakes there in the pit speaking amongst themselves in the dark. They in breed with closed eyes that turn white as death. Have a harem to feed your ego, be called Master or Lord, Queen by your chosen. They will know it is your deepest desire and obey. Just like the christians forgot about all the former practices of personal deities and started their monotheistic system of worshiping the Father in heavens who's name is Sun among others. He was also (one of) the morning star(s) and took over the title from a woman called Astarte.
One personality called Inanna once seduced my twin to get power, nothing I would call honorable. Once again, who would seduce a man only to get power or breed a child they want? Is this the act of a true female ruler? I can not say it would ever be an aspect of myself, even as I embrace the less attractive ones as well. Yes I'm always in the shadow of her, the symbol of the "perfect" female. I am comfortable there.
Desire and pleasure in bliss is not the same as blind lust, this is how many men are blinded by those that are supposed to be their equals. Who is then better than the other? Which gender is then better suited to rule? My opinion is: both or neither.
A prostitute is at least honest about what she wants. A woman that has chosen one side or is ruled by her cycles instead of ruling them can not be objective.
Today we have waves of rapes and between that the feminists who want to blame men for everything and rule on their own so to speak. No balance, only extremes. Why does it look this way, I say confusion that lies deep within the human soul and psyche. I can feel the currents and I see things I don't want to see.
A Swedish saying: "No matter how you turn, your ass will be behind you."
I am not out to ridicule or judge any character, only to say that when people group us together there are errors to be made in the "facts" about beings that do know themselves. I need a man that doesn't fall for the wineskin trick or any other, from someone that mistakes power for love. It made me think about the curses of Morrigan the Dark One that are actually blessings when you think about it. I would have made these to even risk in falling into them myself, to give clues and learn about who I am. That is how it always works, we leave trails along the way that can not be mistaken to the individual that finds them because it is as we put them there. I am not perfect, I have made mistakes but which are only for me and my trusted to know. And we that are alongside Odin would not put ourselves for the weak to ridicule us about things they can not admit in themselves. Reminds me of something a person I respect a lot said in one of her videos (not exactly worded):
"They don't dare to look at themselves and that is why they judge you for doing it".
There is a difference between self knowledge and narcissism, I learned that an overblown ego is not providing for good answers.
The darkness of the female was forgotten and demonized and everyone with her as well. There is a dark side to everything and it has shown me where my soul finds comfort and rest. My shadow that I thought was chasing me has taught me the most important things about who I am. The dark side of the moon, venus, earth....along with the binary of Sirius. I have a chaotic nature that has to be a process of shaping and creating, making order in the confusion of the matter that is yet formless.
Now I am a soaring bird, a wolf in the woods that takes no notice of the ants and bees and their queens. Cause there is always a new queen and everything has been said and done before. The great psyche is speaking to them.
I am of the Danu, we were the judges that were exiled by the cross of a god made up from, but not by Serapis/Ea. This was recorded already in Egypt by some of the writers, that people in their confusion were worshipping him as christ. And what brought this on?
I will leave that question unanswered and you can try to find it out on your own.
Around two years ago I saw a burning black hole that reminded me of a sun. It was the anti-sun, the anti-god, the anti-hero and I felt real love for the first time. It knew where it was going and why it was in my third eye. It led me to the man, the being that is truly my equal and always has been. The darkness has no reason to polish things up. It is violent and instinctual on the other side of his beautiful face. It changed my life completely, and all of the chaos spoke and rewarded me with something that made all the pain and waiting worthwhile. I'm a friend of the life in chaos. I accept the light of white death, it is like a dove. It's not personal but surrounds us. The darkness speaks in the minds of man and is hated, not understood and blamed for everything bad that happens in a life that is actually chosen by the person living it. And here in the shades we have the true alchemy.
I just saw the movie about a man, a templar that played chess with Death about his life. He didn't care that he lost after he had experienced a few nice moments with a couple jesters/jokers that enjoyed their lives to the fullest. Makes me think about The Fool in Liber Thoth that I read about the other day. Juggalos and the Phantom Queen that has to wear a mask when she goes to heaven. Probably so they won't shoot her down for being ugly. ;) It was said she was the inspiration for the jokers of today. Leads me to the Phantom of the Opera. I don't really know why they in the original version wrote that the woman was so disgusted by the Phantom that she ended up being the reason of his death. Where was his soul mate? She must have gotten lost in the woods or among humans forgetting about who she was.
The modern versions though make a bit more sense to me, although I like the fabulous original. It was a very special work of art for the time.
I have been dreaming about horses and watery places all my life. Last time there was a horse I rode him over the lands in a great speed and felt free.
Old circles are broken, the ends are united with new things from the base of the tree. We grow a garden that all individuals can live in without fear of punishment or exile. Some like to lie under the shade of the leaves and some want to be out on the field in the sun. It's all a preference and no one has to stay in one place all their life. Change and move forward, no one will stop you. Destruction and chaos is also evolution, transformation and life.
I am The Reed and Ash woman that is a scorpio shooting arrows,
ruled by Pluto and has her Venus in Capricorn.
I was told to look at the willow,
have some of it under my pillow
to remember my name.
I love the sea, all seas and watery places. Also the desert.
The seven equals eight in union and the 9 is where it starts and ends.
72+72 equals 9
I like the numbers 0 2 4 5 7 8 9 13
I can be three that has no side in duality. One of heaven, earth and the sea.
"Facts are too rigid for individuality" My Ivy
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